What’s being eradicated here? Bacteria or my stability?

Since the middle of my stint on Abilify my immune system has significantly weakened. I’ve been off of the Abilify for almost two years and I’m still seeing the effects it had on my immune system. I am sick on almost a regular basis, and have been for some time. The rate has gone down slowly, but I am still getting sick about every 5-6 weeks on average. Mostly sinus and ear infections, and upper respiratory type stuff. In the event that I am exposed to something viral then I am almost guaranteed to get it. I swear someone could sneeze on the other end of the parking lot and I could catch a cold.

All of this brings us to my last few days. My good streak has ended. I went in after fighting going to the doctor for almost week, and sure enough I have a double ear infection. Cool, right? I mean I guess having a good center of balance is useful and all so I needed to go, but COME ON.

I was put on Zythromax (aka the Z-pack). I haven’t been on that for some time because my body had become immune (HA!) to its effects.

The past 3 days I have been incredibly angry. Everything sets me off, I can’t let anything go, and I have been grossly overreacting. I’ve had a steadily rising level of rage inside me with each day since I started the Z-pack. I’m losing control of my emotions. I can’t keep myself in check. Along with this anger I have been experiencing almost debilitating anxiety. Every though brings me to the edge of panic. I am taking negative thoughts and turning them into fears and obsessions.

At first I thought maybe I was always wrong in thinking that the Z-pack is an antibiotic. Steroids can wreak havoc on bipolar people. But, a quick Google search dismissed my theory. So I called the pharmacist. She informed me that rage, anger, and aggression can all be side effects of the Z-pack. Then she went on to say that those side effects become more frequent in females, and people on psychiatric medications/with psychological disorders. Oooooh goody.

So I decided, because of the escalation factor, to avoid the rest of the dosages.

I tell myself I am not allowed to feel sorry for myself. However, this is one of those times that I get to let out the “WHYYY MEEE?!” battle cry. My plan of action is to sit down with my psych doctor and go through what I can and can’t take, my experience with meds, and come up with some lists that I can refer to. Hopefully he will be able to offer suggestions as to what to try. With my immune system in its current state, I can’t afford to not be able to take anything.

I am unbelievably sensitive to medication and dosages, I have a few very inconvenient drug allergies, and an affinity to bad reactions. So, yes, “WHY ME?! WHY NOT JUST ONE THING, NOT ALL OF THEM?”


4 thoughts on “What’s being eradicated here? Bacteria or my stability?

  1. This makes me glad we are slowly cutting the Abilify out! I was on 15mg and am down to 10 now, hoping to get off of it eventually. I’m so sorry you are sick so often and hope you get to feeling better soon!

    • I understand that everyone reacts differently to drugs, but in the end the bad out weighed the good for me. I put on weight, my immune system took a big hit, and I started losing hair. I can’t tell you how many drugs I’ve been on that I have had a constant mental pro/con list for in my head. Thanks for the well wishes though!

  2. I am right there with you, sort of. I am allergic to aspirin and all NSAIDS. One of the WONDERFUL side effects of an aspirin allergy is Nasal Polys, these little punching bags that do nothing but plug up your nose and make it impossible to breathe. The only 2 treatments are surgery (I’ve had the surgery 7 times in 12 years…they keep coming back) and cortical steroids that shrink the buggers. Now, you want to go through some irritability, some paranoia, some racing thoughts, some insomnia….go take some steroids. (It’s like mania on steroids…LOL) So, I have the choice of being able to breathe through my nose (True–one of my biggest fears has been that someone will abduct me, tie me up and put duct tape over my mouth to keep me from yelling out….I would die a slow painful death as I am deprived of oxygen) or being a complete overbearing asshole. I usually pick asshole. There are so many things that stem from this bipolar shit that really suck!!!!

    • In a day or so I plan on writing a post about my most recent encounter with the world of medicine, and it involves steroids. So, that may interest you. As far as that which stems from bipolar, I completely agree. Everything becomes a complicated web that all leads back to one place. One way or another.

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