Thought catalogue.

I wasn’t the kid who got into drugs, I was never brought home in a cop car, and I never had the prerequisites to star on “Teen Mom.” Don’t get me wrong, I got in my fair share of trouble, it just wasn’t the glorified-by-TV “teen trouble.” I was mischievous, hard headed, and a bit of a wild card at times.  I spoke my mind, and pulled a lot of shit at school. I liked to pull pranks, and I was pretty lippy. We’ll leave it at that.

My true issues were the ones that came out behind closed doors, the ones that were in my head.

While I’ve got some pretty funny stories to pass on to the grand-kids, I have done and said terrible things. Things I can’t shake. Most of the things I can recall started around the fourth and fifth grade. Being the glutton for mental punishment that I am, I keep a pretty thorough mental record of things. Every now and then a new memory pops into my head and it all but destroys me.

I have a therapist. I both trust and adore her. But, everyone has things they don’t even want to spill out on the couch. I’ve got things I want to say but can’t, even though they are ripping holes in my head and chest.

I am open about almost everything. But how do you confront those things you keep locked in a box in a dark cave in the back of your mind? Is it worth is to let it all out, or does it cause more trouble?

I should also probably mention that I did not commit murder or any federal offense. You know, just in case anyone was getting weird vibes.


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